Mar Ukva had a poor man in his neighborhood into whose door socket he would throw four zuz every day. Once the poor man thought, “I will go and see who is doing me this kindness.” On that day it happened that Mar Ukva was delayed at the Bet Midrash (Study House) and his wife was accompanying him. As soon as the poor man saw [someone] turning the door, he went out after them. They fled from him and ran into an oven from which the coals had just been swept. Mar Ukva's feet were getting burned so his wife said to him, “Lift your feet and place them on my feet.” Mar Ukva was distraught. His wife said to him, “I am usually at home and my charity is immediate.”
And what was the reason for all that? Because, Mar Zutra b. Toviah said in the name of Rav and others say R. Huna b. Bizna said in the name of R. Shimon the Pious and yet others say R. Yochanan said in the name of R. Shimon b. Yochai: it is better to deliver oneself into a fiery oven than to publicly humiliate another person.” Whence do we [learn] this? From Tamar, as it is written, She was brought forth (Genesis 38:25). (BT Ketubot 67b)
INTRODUCTION
Rambam (Moses Maimonides, 1138-1204) famously taught in his Mishneh Torah (Matanot Ani’im 10) that while all generosity is commendable and fulfills the mitzvah of tzedakah, some forms are superior to others. He expressed his as a ladder of Eight Levels of Charity, each rung higher than the next. Upon examination, it becomes clear that Rambam believed that the giver’s attitude matters (cheerful generosity is superior to grudging giving, even if the amounts are equal). In addition, giving before being asked is better than giving only upon request. Also clear is that, for Rambam, the anonymity is desirable and that of the donor vis-a-vis the recipient is more important, perhaps so that the recipient’s dignity is not compromised by knowing their source of support. Certainly, talmudic wisdom circulated through Rambam’s veins and the story of Mar Ukva may have influenced him on this last point, in particular.
COMMENTARY
Mar Ukva is unquestionably a righteous man. Noting his neighbor’s need, he finds a way to supply the funds his neighbor needs to live each and every day while maintaining his own anonymity so that the neighbor need not feel dependent upon or indebted to Mar Ukva.
Perhaps it is inevitable that the scheme, depending as it does on precise timing, breaks down one day when Mar Ukva stays late at the Bet Midrash. His neighbor, seeing the door move, realizes that his mysterious benefactor is delivering money and pursues him, most likely eager to learn his identity and thank him for his generosity. Mar Ukva, eager to remain anonymous, flees the scene together with his wife who happens to accompany him that day. They find a surprising place to secret themselves: mostly likely this is a communal oven, which would have been accessible from the street and large enough for two people to enter. We are told that it had recently been swept of coals left over from cooking, which also suggests that it is still hot inside. As we might suspect, Mar Ukva’s feet are burned. Surprisingly, his wife’s feet are not. She therefore invites him to stand on her apparently impervious feet. It would appear that Mar Ukva complies, but he is nonetheless distraught because he believes that her immunity to the heat of the oven means her merits exceed his. He has scrupulously fulfilled the mitzvah of tzedakah, going to great lengths to support his poor neighbor each and every day, yet his efforts do not afford him the protection his wife enjoys. Recognizing his emotional distress, his wife offers an explanation: because she is home most of the time, poor people can easily find her and secure a donation immediately in response to their need.
Having told the story of Mar Ukva and his neighbor, the Rabbis ask: Why did Mar Ukva go to so much trouble to remain anonymous, an effort that led him to hide in a dangerous place and sustain injury? The answer and proof text they provide is nearly identical to what we find in BT Baba Metzia 59a: “It is better to cast oneself into a fiery furnace than to publicly humiliate another person.” It is tempting to conjecture that Baba Metzia contains the original version of this hyperbolic expression of antipathy toward publicly shaming and that the story of Mar Ukva in tractate Ketubot is constructed to illustrate the principle literally. The proof text supplied concerns Tamar, the daughter-in-law of Judah, son of Jacob (see Genesis 38). Tamar was married to Judah’s son Er, who died before having children. By the law of levirate marriage, Er’s son Onan married Tamar. He, too, died, before having children. Judah should have married Tamar to his third son, Shelah, but did not. Tamar therefore disguised herself as a prostitute and sat at a crossroads Judah would pass on his way to shear his sheep. Judah hired her, depositing his signet, cords, and staff with her in lieu of payment. Sometime later, when it became obvious that Tamar was pregnant, Judah accused her of adultery and condemned her to be burned to death. Tamar could have publicly humiliated Judah by revealing his signet, cords, and staff. Instead, she presented them to him privately, sparing him public humiliation.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER AND DISCUSS
- Rambam’s scale of giving is 1 through 8, where 1 is the highest level. He ranks giving when “the donor knows who the recipient is, but the recipient does not know the source” as #3 on his scale, but “giving directly to the poor upon being asked” as only #6. How might he compare Mar Ukva’s giving with his wife’s giving? How might he respond to her explanation?
- Setting aside Rambam’s view, and focusing on what the Talmud is teaching us, is Mar Ukva’s wife attempting to assuage her husband’s distress when she explains that her tzedakah is more immediate, or is she revealing another facet—immediate response to those in need—to what constitutes desirable giving? How does the story support the view that her giving is superior?
- Do you think the oven functions as a location that affords a means of comparing the righteousness of Mar Ukva and his wife, or a location that conveys Mar Ukva’s sense that he deserves to be punished for his failure to deliver his tzedakah anonymously, or both?